Bob Turner

Relational Leadership

The Gospel of Matthew wants us to pay attention and observe. The genealogical record, activity of angels, fulfillment of prophecy, and the involvement of dreams are all significant to the claim of Jesus as the Christ.

Several terms used to describe the work of Jesus as the Christ include: shepherd, ruler, king, light, and healer.

Another is built upon the name, Immanuel––God with us. The true nature of relationships involves being present.

If God left the glory of heaven to be with us––to shepherd, rule, provide light and heal––then we should also recognize that leading others necessitates our being present in all our relationships.

Mentoring

Mentoring usually involves an experienced and trusted advisor who trains and counsels someone else. The mentoring relationship may extend any where from a few days to a few years depending on the nature and purpose of the relationship.

As a spiritual influence in the lives of others, we all want to pursue ways we can mentor someone in developing maturity in their faith.

Our approach should be based on the methods of Jesus.

Take a moment to pray about someone who can be a mentor and pray for someone you can mentor.

Leading in Speech

Children learn by observation, probably better than adults. When children witness parents criticizing each other, other people, or the child, then they grow up believing that the standard for how to live in the home is critical in nature.

The result often leaves an atmosphere of competition, striving to be better than someone else in order to avoid being criticized.

To prevent this from developing, we need to stop and think before we speak. We may need to apologize to our children for how we have criticized them or others in the past. Above all, we must strive to set a more positive tone for the future.

Consistency

One of the greatest forms of hypocrisy occurs when parents tell their children to live a certain way, yet not live by the same standard themselves.

I am not saying you must be perfect, regardless of the standard under consideration. However, there needs to be consistency.

Children already push the limits as close to the line as possible and measure every action by the consistency of parental guidance.

We must develop a consistency in approaching how the standard is lived in the home.

When we fail to live up to the standard: admit it, apologize, and make restitution. Do not excuse it…ever!

Refuge of Home

Our children are influenced from a very young age. Our influence is far greater than we can imagine, until we see and hear the expressions of our influence expressed by our children.

Because this is true, as parents we need to give serious consideration to the words and activities expressed in our own lives.

We need to set the kind of standard we are comfortable seeing expressed in the lives of our children. We face enough challenges in battling the worldly influence surrounding us.

Use the home as a refuge that is sanctified by the teachings of God’s word.

Teaching Moments

Thinking about leadership in the home and the influence we have on our children, it seemed fitting to share a few thoughts.

From the time children arise in the morning to the time they lay their heads down to sleep, teaching moments are everywhere.

The air that we breathe, the food we eat, the opportunity to see the sunrise, the ability to move our fingers and toes, witnessing God’s creation come to life, and hundreds more, are all moments to teach our children about the existence of God and His love for us.

As we pray for children, let us also take appropriate action to lead them.

Decisive Leadership

When leaders are indecisive their leadership is called into question by followers.

Leaders need to know the causes of indecisiveness to overcome the challenges it brings.

Fear of making the wrong decision, the unknown, failure, and even success.

Lacking trust in one’s abilities or that of others are often uncertain in making decisions.

Procrastination leads to indecisiveness because making a decision lacks urgency.

What will help leaders be decisive?

Research and gather all the facts to make an informed decision.

List the pros and cons and pray about it.

Trust the instincts.

Establish a backup plan as a precaution.

Make the decision.

The Past

We are all shaped by the events of our past. It may be teaching, experience, or influence. They are either positive or negative as we consider how the past shapes us.

Paul was an apostle molded by his family heritage, academic credentials, knowledge of Old Testament scripture, and zealous attack against the church.

However, he did not allow the past to dictate the direction of his future. Paul’s focus quickly became spiritually and heavenly directed.

We cannot relive or change the past. As leaders, we must learn from the past in order to prevent repeating areas that hinder our influence and focus.

Confidence

Confidence in one’s ability diminishes when leaders experience failure, suffer discouragement, or they are harshly criticized by others.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal” is the powerful thought expressed by Winston Churchill. Recognizing that the only time failure exists is when we give up helps us redirect our thinking when success is beyond our reach.

Suffering discouragement generally follows moments of failure. We begin to overcome discouragement by evaluating the cause and seeking help to address it.

Criticism, even when harshly given, provides growth benefits if we are able to see them in this way. Instead of “reacting,” we need to “act” appropriately as a spiritual leader.

Communication

Google articles on communication in leadership abound. Forbes has an online article that shares ten secrets about communication in leadership. Two of the secrets are significant:

1) Speak not with a forked tongue: When leaders have a reputation that lacks character or one of poor character, people will not trust them. Communication and character go hand in hand in building trust.

2) Speak to groups as individuals: Leaders who establish a personal atmosphere where people feel valued as an individual build a rapport where a leader is heard.

When leaders work to improve communication, stronger relationships will result.