One of the most frustrating challenges in relationships is reflected in a statement by Colin Powell, “You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.”

The challenge is even more complicated from a leadership perspective. On one hand, it would be easy to make someone else’s choices for them. After all, a leader is supposed to have the answers, right?

On the other hand, if leaders were making decisions for others, others would be positioned to make choices for the leader.

When leaders made choices for others the potential of resentment exists.

When leaders make choices for others, a certain expectation can be created.

Making choices for others can also lead to an unhealthy dependency.

Leading is about relationships and leading others involves helping them make the right choices, not making those choices for them.

Leadership has the potential of influencing others for a greater purpose. Let us always lead with the desire to help others see the choice of heaven.

Something happens during the transition from following to leadership. One of the great myths about leadership is that when we reach this position, we get to focus on ourselves. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Leaders should be cautious about what they say, how they write, and the influence they have when leading others.

When our speech (spoken or written) is filled with personal pronouns, e.g. “me,” “myself,” and “I,” then leaders need to step back and evaluate what, or perhaps more appropriate, who they are promoting.

The strength of true spiritual leadership must always be focused on the good of others, even at the expense of self.

When Jesus was teaching the apostles about being a servant (Jn. 13), He used the term love regarding a new commandment. The powerful influence of this type of leadership is that all people will know we are His disciples if we have love for one another.

How do we demonstrate love if our words and actions betray that love for the purpose of serving self?

Leadership is filled with its challenges, not the least of which is “self.”

As a catalyst, leaders incite forward and positive movement. For a leader to benefit in developing the characteristics of a catalyst, there must be a genuine interest in others.

Genuine interest is much easier said than done. Also, there are individuals we are more genuinely interested in than others.

Leaders are familiar with individuals who can be emotionally draining. The time and energy demanded can be challenging.

A genuine interest in others requires a few key components.

Genuine interest requires the ability to listen. Far too often the tendency is to think about a response, rather than listening to the words, body language, and tone of voice.

Genuine interest requires eye contact. When there is disinterest it is hard not to look at the clock/watch, At best, eye contact becomes challenging, and at worst, we struggle just to stay awake.

Genuine interest requires appropriate questions. Asking appropriate questions, i.e. who, why, how, when, what, helps identify interest in the lives of others.

A few key components make a catalyst leader effective in their leadership.

By definition, a catalyst is “a substance that increases the rate of chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.”

When a leader serves as a catalyst amazing developments can occur. Over the next few days we will examine the characteristics of a spiritual catalyst with the intent of improving our ability as leaders.

Today, the characteristic is one of helping others.

In their book, The Starfish and the Spider, Brafman and Beckstrom researched several areas concerning leadership and the qualities of a catalyst.

Consistent with each was their desire to help others. As I read through the examples provided, I could not help but connect the idea to a spiritual catalyst.

Spiritual catalysts are able to effect powerful influence because they desire to help others.

Catalysts help others see their potential in the Lord’s kingdom.

Catalysts help others implement plans to reach their potential.

Catalysts help others connect with people who can assist them reach their potential.

The need for catalysts is significant in the development of the Lord’s kingdom. Tomorrow we will consider another characteristic.

Although the author is unknown, the following statement is worth reading, “You attract people by the qualities you display. You keep them by the qualities you possess.”

One side of this thought identifies what people see, but the other side speaks to what people know about us.

Often times, leaders put forth a front that people see on the surface, but it may not truly portray the character of the individual. Followers may flock to someone they see displaying qualities they admire and perhaps desire to possess themselves.

However, in order to keep these followers loyal and faithful, these qualities must make up the core values possessed by their leader.

While we have all heard variations of the thought, it is true that we can fool some of the people some of the time. We may even fool most of the people most of the time. But, we cannot fool all of the people all of the time. And even if we could, we cannot fool God.

We must focus on possessing the type of godly qualities demanded of spiritual leaders. The outward display that people see will naturally follow.

This timeless piece of advice is familiar to most who have participated in any form of carpentry. If you are like me, this is a lesson learned by experience.

We might easily trust the first measurement and memory only to learn after the cut is made that an additional cut is required or another piece completely.

Serious medical diagnoses are generally followed up with a second opinion. When someone’s health is potentially in peril, circumstance demands additional counsel.

However, the lesson behind this advice extends beyond the field of carpentry and medicine. In fact, the application is fitting for most areas of life, especially leadership.

Leadership credibility increases when decisions are based on additional information gained or counsel received, indicating the time taken to measure twice.

How different would the outcome have been if biblical leaders like Saul, David, Peter, and Paul had taken time to investigate further before making a decision that compromised their relationship with God and His people?

Measuring twice makes it possible to ensure accuracy before making decisions with great consequential impact.

Our relationship with God and leadership rests in the balance of this advice.

Indulging in an enjoyable recollection of past events is where reminiscing begins.

The significance of this idea, as it relates to leaders, is to recognize the value of reflecting on the positive events accomplished.

Memory is one of the most powerful qualities God designed for our brain. The ability to remember affords us the opportunity to consider areas in life where mistakes were made and simple reflection prevents us from making the same mistakes.

Memory also opens the portholes of our minds to reminisce about the events and decisions of life that provided comfort and success.

Leaders who are able to reminisce about past events that build upon achievement, victories over trials or failures, and the strength of morale will motivate others to find something deep inside that drives who they are and where they want to go.

The power of reminiscing makes the difference between being consumed with regret over past mistakes and the elation of knowing something better awaits us.