Tag: Listen

Genuine Interest

A genuine interest in others is easier said than done. As well, there are some individuals we are more genuinely interested in than others.

Having a genuine interest in all people requires a few key components.

Genuine interest requires the ability to listen. Learn to listen with your ears and your heart.

Genuine interest requires eye contact. When there is disinterest, focus on good eye contact.

Genuine interest requires appropriate questions. Who? What? When? Where? How? and Why? all help identify interests.

A few key components, like a genuine interest in others, makes an effective leader.

A Leading Question

A leading question is an attempt to get someone else to communicate their understanding of facts, knowledge, or feelings. From a legal perspective, it is often used to get someone to answer a question in a specific way, leading them to often incriminate themselves or someone else.

At times, leaders may need to use both. We use questions for several reasons.

1) When others are encouraged to communicate, they feel appreciated and important.

2) We learn more by listening. We learn about feelings, desires, struggles, joys, and sorrows.

3) We create a powerful learning environment. Leaders will be surprised what they learn when creative minds are unleashed.

Listening Leaders

Karl Menniger said, “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

How can we improve our ability to listen?

Remove distractions: Remove the phone, television, computer, or anything else that keeps us from giving our attention to the other person.

Wait for the finish:
Learn to wait and make sure someone has completed their thoughts before formulating how to respond.

Listen beyond the words: Body language and tone of voice are critical to understanding the meaning behind the words we hear.

In Sync Leadership

To be “in sync” involves harmony between our own life and the lives of others, especially those we lead. How can leaders work with others in ways that leave both feeling in sync?

1) Listen. The idea of active listening involves the ability to listen with the head and heart.

2) Equip. An urgent requisite includes equipping others with the tools to accomplish the task.

3) Motivate. Leaders must encourage and inspire others in order to be on the same page.

4) Reward. When the job is done well and reaches its end, the achievement deserves a time to celebrate the victory.

Resolving Conflict

The challenges associated with conflict run deep and the resolutions do not come quickly. When conflict arises, what can we do?

1) Embrace the conflict. Conflict allows us the opportunity to learn from and grow through it.
2) Develop consistency. Hypocrisy is destructive, thus a consistent approach is the best start.
3) Listen to all sides. There are at least two sides to every story. Listen completely to both.
4) Respond quickly. Waiting to address conflict produces bitter and incorrect feelings.
5) Invite collective wisdom. Ask others who have faced similar conflict and learn.

This is not an exhaustive list, but with a good start we can find resolution more quickly.

Be The Rainbow

Without exception, we all experience days that are unpleasant. These days can be clouded by the challenges of life, e.g. family problems, health issues, financial struggles, relational matters, etc.

Maya Angelou once said, “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

We should all want to follow such leaders and, better yet, emulate them.

Learn to smile more. A friendly smile can make all the difference in someone’s day.

Genuinely ask about someone’s day. People need to know someone cares.

Learn to listen to the words, tone of voice, and body language. Listen with our ears, eyes, and heart.

Try, Listen, Think, Wait, Forgive

One of my favorite quotes has no known author, ”Before you quit, try. Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you move on, forgive.”

These five suggestions are powerful.

Do we quit before we really give it a try?
Do we dominate the conversation without really listening?
Do we react, only to think later that we should have thought it through?
Do we jump to conclusions and criticize others?
Do we move on, but carry a grudge?

More could be said, but when we follow each of these suggestions, our lives and the lives of others will be richer.

Dealing Out Hope…

After spending several hours contacting numerous shelters to find housing for someone in need, an overwhelming realization of the hopeless condition among our population was apparent.

A compassionate heart quickly recognizes how people can feel so hopeless. A number of explanations may be given as to the cause, but the need for leaders is to provide hope. Napoleon is credited with saying, “leaders are dealers in hope.”

Leaders extend hope by learning to listen and express concern.

Leaders need to offer hope that someone is trustworthy.

Leaders possess a responsibility to demonstrate care by action.

People follow leaders who provide hope.

God’s Word and Leaders…

Psalm 119 emphasizes God’s word and expresses a lesson for leaders.

The Psalmist asks, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your Word.”

The remainder of the text shares thoughts on how we fulfill this statement.

Seek God – With all my heart I have sought you.
Value His word – Your word I have treasured in my heart.
Speak His word – With my lips I have told of all the ordinances of Your mouth.
Find joy in His word – I rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies.
Give deep thought to His word – I will meditate on Your precepts and regard your ways.
Remember His word – I shall not forget your word.

Listen, learn, and apply.

Listen, Think, Speak…

Solomon wrote that a word spoken in the right circumstances was “like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

Few principles carry more weight in leadership than this one.

The challenge is how to develop this ability. 

1) Actively listen. A key attribute for learning what to say at the right time is to listen. There are times silence speaks more to the need than words.

2) Think before speaking. The tendency is to speak as soon as the thought crosses our mind. Relationships are often destroyed when we speak too quickly.

These two suggestions provide a foundation to speak the right words in the right circumstance.