Information about mentoring is unlimited. Several approaches to mentoring indicate a number of options available for consideration.

In the days ahead we want to explore several areas related to the concept of mentoring and how mentoring can achieve the second half of the Great Commission: “teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.”

Mentoring usually involves an experienced and trusted advisor who trains and counsels someone else. The mentoring relationship may extend any where from a few days to a few years depending on the nature and purpose of the relationship.

As a spiritual influence in the lives of others, we all want to pursue ways we can mentor someone in developing maturity in their faith.

The approach to mentoring we want to consider is based on ways Jesus mentored the disciples.

As we explore these areas, please examine ways to get involved in mentoring others, and seek someone who can be a mentor to you.

Before we examine more fully this relationship, take a moment to pray about someone who can be a mentor and pray for someone we can mentor.

I’ve learned over the years that criticizing others for how they approach the development of their home does not usually yield positive results.

Everyone seems to have their “own” way of doing things. Sadly, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Perhaps the biggest challenge exists when we do not recognize it is not working until it is too late.

Remember, children learn by observation, probably better than we do as adults. When children witness parents criticizing each other, other people, or the child, then they grow up believing that the standard for how to live in the home is critical in nature.

The result often leaves an atmosphere of competition, always striving to be better than someone else in order to avoid being criticized.

In order to prevent this from developing in our homes, we need to stop and think about what we say before we say it. We may need to apologize to our children for how we have criticized them or others in the past. Above all, we must strive to set a more positive tone for the future.

“Do as I say, not as I do.” Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their hypocrisy of saying things and not doing them.

One of the greatest forms of hypocrisy in the home exists when parents tell their children to live a certain way, yet not live by the same standard themselves.

We are not saying that parents need to be perfect, regardless of the standard under consideration. However, there needs to be consistency.

Children already push the limits as close to the line as possible and measure every action by the consistency of parental guidance.

As challenging as parenting is for anyone, the best place to lead our children in establishing a standard to guide their lives throughout life is found in the home. Here is where the foundation must be laid.

We must develop a consistency in approaching the way the standard is lived in the home.

When we fail to live up to the standard: admit it, apologize, and make restitution. Do not excuse it…ever!

Seek ways to help our children understand the purpose behind the standard.

“What parents excuse in moderation, children will abuse in excess” (Brett Petrillo). The home is the place where leadership begins.

The hearts and minds of our children are sculpted from a very young age. Our influence is far greater than we can imagine, perhaps until we see and hear the expressions of our influence expressed in the lives of our children.

Because this is true, as parents we need to give serious consideration to the words and activities expressed in our own lives.

This post is not for the purpose of proclaiming what is right or wrong. Rather, the purpose is to share a perspective of an individual who has seen it in his own children and now observing it through them in his grandchildren.

We need to set the kind of standard within our home we are comfortable with seeing our children live out in excess. We face enough challenges in battling the worldly influence surrounding us. Why take a chance on setting an example that questions the biblical precedence of a godly man or woman?

Use the home as a refuge that is sanctified by the teachings of God’s word.

The greatest opportunities for influence occur within the confines of the four walls where we live.

What we need to consider, however, involves several areas of critical significance.

I am sure we all pray for our children every day. As I thought about the idea of leadership in the home and the influence we have on our children, it seemed fitting to share a few thoughts.

From the time children arise in the morning to the time they lay their heads down to sleep, teaching moments are everywhere.

The air that we breathe, the food we eat, the opportunity to see the sunrise, the ability to move our fingers and toes, witnessing God’s creation come to life, and hundreds more, are all moments to teach our children about the existence of God and His love for us.

Leadership in the home must lay this foundation, but it certainly includes more than teaching them about God, as we will consider in the days ahead, but these moments furnish a powerful place to start.

As we pray for children, let us also take appropriate action to lead them.

One of the greatest challenges to every leader involves making decisions. When leaders are indecisive their leadership is called into question by followers.

Leaders need to know the causes of indecisiveness to overcome the challenges it brings.

Fear: fear of making the wrong decision, fear of the unknown, and fear of failure are leading causes of indecisiveness.

Trust: leaders who lack trust in their own abilities and the abilities of others are often uncertain or debilitated in making decisions.

Procrastination: the mindset of “why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow” leads to indecisiveness because making a decision lacks urgency.

Remember, decisions must be made and our fears, lack of trust, or the tendency to procrastinate will not change the facts.

What can be done to help leaders overcome the challenges of indecisiveness?

Take time to do some research and gather all the facts to make an informed decision.
Making a list of pros and cons for each decision and pray about it.
Trust the instincts.
Establish a backup plan as a precaution.
Make the decision.

How does the past influence the direction of our current mindset and goals for the future?

We are all shaped in one way or another by the events of the past. These take the form of past teaching, experience, and influence. Each of these categories are either positive and negative as we consider the shaping nature of the past.

Paul was an apostle whose past molded his character in a way that God used to provide an example for the whole of Christianity. His family heritage, academic credentials, knowledge of Old Testament scripture, and zealous attack against the church all left a mark he did not forget.

However, he did not allow the past to dictate the direction of his future. Paul’s focus was now spiritually designed and heavenly directed.

We cannot relive the past, and we cannot change the past. As leaders, we must learn from the past in order to prevent repeating areas that hinder our Christian example.

The challenges of yesterday need to be left in the past and redirect our attention with a spiritual and heavenly focus.

Internal and external challenges face every leader. These challenges cause leaders to question their ability, opportunity, position, and purpose in leadership.

Confidence in one’s ability diminishes when leaders experience failure, suffer discouragement, or they are harshly criticized by others.

When leaders face this challenge they need to approach each area carefully.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal” is the powerful thought expressed by Winston Churchill. Recognizing that the only time failure exists is when we give up helps us redirect our thinking when success is beyond our reach.

Suffering discouragement generally follows moments of failure. When discouragement takes root, if it is strong enough, we consider quitting. Learning how to overcome discouragement begins by evaluating the cause and seeking help to address it.

Criticism, even when harshly given, provides growth benefits if we are able to see them in this way. We cannot change the motives of those who criticize, but we can choose how we respond. Instead of “reacting,” we need to “act” appropriately as a spiritual leader.

While these are limited ideas, overcoming the challenge is possible. Seek to walk the right path.

Numerous challenges to leadership exist, and narrowing it down to one or two is…well, challenging. It serves leaders well to understand how to approach any challenge.

Over the next few weeks we will look at a few of these challenges and how to address them.

Communication stands as one of the most challenging areas of leadership. Who is responsible for quality communication and how should leaders address this challenge?

Google articles on communication in leadership abound. Forbes has an online article that shares ten secrets about communication in leadership. Two of the secrets are significant:

1) Speak not with a forked tongue: When leaders have a reputation that lacks character or one of poor character, people will not trust them. Communication and character go hand in hand in building trust.

2) Speak to groups as individuals: Leaders who establish a personal atmosphere where people feel they are spoken to directly as an individual builds a rapport where a leader is heard.

Please read the article and learn more ways to face the challenge of communicating in leadership.

Love is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language, yet one of the most powerful from a biblical perspective.

Franklin P. Jones once said, “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”

Several thoughts could be shared to help us approach every situation, relationship, and decision, but one word encompasses the whole of our leadership: love.

While we often hear that love makes the world go round, this is little more than a nice saying. The thought by Jones only adds to the expression with another nice saying, but the commonality of both statements is the whole of perfection.

Love is the perfect bond of unity.
Love is the greatest among faith, hope, and love.
Loving your neighbor as yourself is the fulfillment of the royal law.
Perfect love casts out fear.
Love covers a multitude of sins.

Love is to be demonstrated above all to God, toward a friend, spouse, brother and enemy.

There is much more that could be said about love, but when love is the foundation, formation, and finishing of our words and actions, godly leadership is exemplified.