The challenges associated with conflict run deep and the resolutions do not come quickly.

Considering previous discussions, there are a few suggestions to help us when conflict arises.

1) Embrace the conflict. We know conflict will happen. When we embrace conflict, it allows us the opportunity to learn from the conflict and grow through it.

2) Develop consistency. Nothing is more destructive than hypocrisy or more convincing than consistency. The conflict may be in our family or between others, but a consistent approach is the best start.

3) Listen to all sides. There are at least two sides to every story. Listening to only one side leads to hasty reactions, wrong conclusions, and damaged relationships.

4) Respond quickly. Waiting to address conflict introduces challenges that hinder the elimination of assumptions that can create bitter and incorrect feelings.

5) Invite collective wisdom. We are not alone when facing conflict or seeking resolution. Asking others who face similar conflict can bring a wealth of wisdom to help.

Obviously, these five suggestions are not an exhaustive list. With a good start, however, we can find resolution more quickly, and this is the goal.

“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his/her happiness on major events like a great job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.” Andy Rooney

Whether a fan of Andy Rooney or not, the idea behind this thought is significant. What this thought really speaks to is the need to understand the power of leadership in the home.

When our family becomes the priority of our leadership, the events of life take on a whole new perspective, and when this perspective is properly aligned, the result is true happiness.

May we always consider the foundation of our leadership responsibility.

Today is Thanksgiving. While we are thankful everyday, there is something special about the opportunity to focus on those specific areas and people in our lives for which we give thanks.

On a personal note, today is more special than just Thanksgiving. Today is the celebration of a day the most special woman in my life was born. Today is my wife’s birthday and I want to share a few reasons I am thankful for her and our life together.

I am thankful for her selfless giving. If there was ever a person born with a servant’s heart, it is her.

I am thankful for her love. This special woman continues to teach me what love means, just by her example.

I am thankful for her counsel. Her wisdom has shaped me as a husband, father, grandfather, and friend.

I am thankful for her friendship. Those who know her as a friend are blessed, and I am blessed above all.

Her life is one dedicated to putting others above herself.

There is no one on earth I am closer to and no one I am more thankful for in my life. Happy birthday to the most beautiful, special, thoughtful, and lovely woman I know. TTBOTM

While working through various areas of biblical leadership, one of the key qualities involves thinking on the right things.

Solomon spoke about the power of one’s thoughts, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Pro. 23:7). The very idea is amazing to contemplate; the way we think has the power to characterize who we are, to define us.

One of the most significant passages, however, that addresses the point of today’s post comes from Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi.

Throughout the letter, Paul speaks of standing firm with one mind, being of the same mind, having the mind of Christ, and then he implies the need to think on the right things (Phil. 4:8).

Notice the areas mentioned in this passage: true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, things of good repute, excellence, and anything worthy of praise.

Consider the powerful nature of a leadership that thinks on the right things.

Imagine the attraction to people of the world with a group of Christians whose mental focus is on these eight areas.

When we seek to attain or accomplish something, it is referred to as “pursuing.” Adding diligence increases the chances of success in our pursuit.

What we pursue as leaders is determined by the core values of our character. If our character is biblically based, our pursuit is divinely grounded.

How we pursue anything influences the direction of those who follow. The nature of our pursuits is supported by the passionate and driving force in our lives.

Why we are in pursuit shapes the purpose of our existence as leaders. What gets us up in the mornings and out the door is directly connected to what we pursue.

Where the pursuit takes us is dictated by the plans we implement to reach the goal. At times, the direction may not be what we expect, or the most comfortable, yet it must be pursued.

What are we seeking to attain and accomplish?

Is that pursuit something we are passionate about and willing to give our lives to pursue?

Will we wait until the opportunity passes us by, or are we in pursuit?

Leaders shape the future by their pursuits.

Understanding why conflict exists is only the beginning. As a first step to gaining a perspective to conflict resolution, we now focus on some suggestions to consider.

1) Anticipate conflict. As challenging and, frankly, unwelcome conflict is, resolving conflict begins with an anticipation it is coming. With anticipation comes preparation, and when we are prepared we are better equipped to find resolution.

2) See the opportunity. Imagine the difference in facing conflict when we recognize conflict as an opportunity to improve our leadership, strengthen our ability to help others in conflict, and bring completeness to our faith.

3) Deal with one at a time. Conflict is no respecter of time or person. Conflict does not set a schedule to arrive at our doorstep when it is convenient. At various times, we will face an overwhelming flood of conflict. The best approach is to deal with it one at a time.

4) Focus on the objective. When conflict occurs, the tendency is to lose sight of our objective. Our vision is clouded by the devastation of the conflict and we cannot see the greater objective that often accompanies the outcome. Focus!

More next week…

“Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?” Shared by Jesse LeMay

One of the most significant discussions for leaders involves attitude. We know the contrast between good and bad attitudes followed by right and wrong attitudes.

The attitude of a leader makes the difference for followers. Today’s thought is one that emphasizes this truth. Consider the contagious nature of attitudes.

We know the destructive influence of an attitude that is negative, self-centered, sadistic, apathetic, and indifferent.

At the same time, we also know the powerful influence of an attitude that is positive, self-less, compassionate, and thoughtful.

Both of these ideas are contagious, but consider the question: Is our attitude worth catching?

Perhaps the most important question to consider is what can we do to improve our attitude?

We need to be careful what we allow into our mind. Think – garbage in, garbage out (GIGO).

Develop positive affirmations and write them down.

Avoid emotional “vampires” who tend to suck the joy out of any good situation.

Set and achieve daily goals.

Act like a “maniac.” MaryAnn Troiani says “happy people are manics on a mission.”

Biblical leadership continues to be the focus of our posts and the direction needed today is seeking the mind of Christ.

Understanding the magnitude of this thought flows out of the words Paul wrote to the church at Philippi. Paul clearly identifies the need for Christians to have the same mind that was in Christ (Phi. 2:5), but what is that mind?

We read the description of who Christ is, what He did, and the result. The basis of this thought, however, goes back to the first few verses of this chapter. Notice the phrases that characterize this mind that Paul wants all of us to possess.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit.

With humility of mind regard others as more important than yourself.

Do not look out for your own interests.

Look out for the interest of others.

These four phrases can be summed up in the life of Christ: a selfless humility that puts others above self.

When leaders seek the mind of Christ, character development takes on the greatest focus: Jesus and others. This is a winning combination for leadership.

Numerous words convert sentences into questions: what, will, how, when, where, and who? These words validate the importance of questions that determine the information needed to assess and make necessary conclusions.

There is one word, however, that takes a level of preeminence and it is necessary to challenge the core of who we are and what we do as leaders. Why?

Nothing else needs to be added to this word to complete a question. Children are famous for asking this question regarding every answer given by parental and educational authority. Why?

This word alone penetrates the heart of our motives, actions, attitudes, and decisions. Considering the purpose and direction of our leadership, we need to ask – why?

Why do we seek to influence others for the cause of Christ?

Why are we interested in improving the quality of work produced?

Why would we challenge past procedures and consider change?

Why is it necessary for us to work harder and longer than others?

The answer to these and hundreds of other such questions will guide us to “make a difference.” This is the answer to the question – why?

Every leader needs ambition: a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.

When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, he emphasized the necessity of making it our ambition to be pleasing to the Lord (2 Co. 5:9).

Imagine the power of leadership when strong desire, determination, and hard work are exerted toward pleasing the Lord.

Ambition based on this purpose will guide every area of life and leadership.

Our role in the marriage relationship or parenting changes when our ambition is to please the Lord.

The integrity of our character and work ethic on the job are viewed differently when our ambition is to please the Lord.

The influence of our conduct toward neighbors and friends has impact when our ambition is to please the Lord.

The nature of our service within the Lord’s church shows the world we are His disciples, when our ambition is to please the Lord.

What value would be placed on our leadership if the whole of our life and leadership were based on ambition such as this?